"You'll want to get the rust protection, this stove will rust up on ya like that!"

I am not an Idiot.

After furniture and appliance shopping for the past week or so I seem to have developed a low tolerance for being played for as an idiot.
Being the savvy shoppers we are, we checked out all of the local stores, here are some highlights...
Sears Home: The first time or two we went we were not hassled very much. My only complaint thus far would have been that when we discussed figures or purchases a swarm of salesman would suddenly be hanging around just in audible range, suddenly checking out and inspecting furniture near us as if it was a new item they had never noticed before. On our last visit we were helped by a very helpful older man. He let us go to look around by ourselves when another salesman approached us, we explained to him we had already been looked after. Then as he left he ran into the original salesman who exclaimed "I have those two, they are the couple I mentioned earlier!" in a not so friendly, make you uncomfortable, loud enough for everyone to hear voice. We were pretty much ready to go at that point.
The Brick: Here initially we did not feel too hassled but don't worry that eventually changed. We were first helped by a guy around our age who was very helpful. We at this point had pretty much put this place at the top of the list. We decided we would look around and return if we could not find a better deal. (This was when we went on our last visit to Sears Home). So upon returning a short time later we looked for our original salesman but he was busy with another couple. He had noticed us and said he would be with us in a minute. While waiting we were approached by another salesman who explained to us that since we were waiting for the guy we liked we were "fair game" and he could help us. We said that was okay and we would wait but he stayed and stayed, we even sort of stopped talking to him but he just stood there, occasionally talking about the stove we were looking at. We ended up leaving and coming back later, entering the Brick like soldiers in the jungle, seeking out our good salesman while evading the evil salesman amongst the couches, TV's and fridges. We accomplished our mission but barely, as the evil salesman almost got us at the last second. "Phew that was close".
Upon deciding to purchase a couch and futon we worked out the details with a rather animated woman. During this time we explained how two salesman in Sears Home had gotten into a fight over us. "NO!!" she gasped loudly with her hand on her chest. I'm not sure what kept me from laughing on the floor at this moment by her outlandish reaction. I think she told her boss in front of us later who reacted the same way. Oh yeah and her boss, the dude who came up to us saying this was our lucky day. He then preceded to hand us a card saying $25 gift card valid until June. He then explained to us it was actually worth $36 and valid until midnight! , followed by a loud "woo hoo!!" as if we were going to get whisked up into his exictement and loose our minds and spend spend spend! Guy who needs punch to the face says what?
Here is what kills me. Large corporations have the resources to research what the most effective, and profitable sales approach is. Most have apparently come to the conclusion that commissioned salespeople work the best, despite the fact that it results in experiences such as ours. These salespeople just seem desperate, and it is obvious they will say anything to make the sale. (But don't worry they will later recant once the paperwork starts.) Now assuming most people don't buy a stove or couch on a whim, really where you shop will come down to style, price, quality and warranty. All of which are pretty much fixed. So the fast talking pushy salespeople's only provide aggravation, unless you are dumb enough not to see through the bull. So is this why commission works? Because people are stupid? I've come to the conclusion that if the general public is this stupid, humanity may be doomed.
Now in the end we did buy stuff from the Brick, but it came down to price, style and warranty. The rest was pure torture, and if anything made us want to buy more from ikea in the future.

Fake Boobs....